


When you slip on a severed butt cheek at the top of some stairs.

by BrightestOfCrayons



Category: Death Note & Related Fandoms, Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Reincarnation, Alternate Universe - Time Travel, Crack, F/M, Fluff and Humor
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-11
Updated: 2019-02-11
Packaged: 2019-10-26 05:45:27
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,703
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17740130
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BrightestOfCrayons/pseuds/BrightestOfCrayons
Summary: Ryuk as Harry Potter.(Shared project, updates at random.)





	When you slip on a severed butt cheek at the top of some stairs.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> THIS HAD TO BE DONE!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We have some nice Lily Potter and Marauders Pov up next. It's like 3 am. I'm tired. I will go back and re-word stuff later if shit don't make sense.

Ryuk Pov  
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It shouldn't have taken Ryuk, who by the way, was a centuries-old Shinigami, a few measly months to realize where he was. What he had become. He was a human fetus developing inside a womb. It was a strange, disgusting and overall boring experience that was his reality. All he could really do was float around, unsure of what sort of creature he was at first. All while going through Apple withdrawal. What torture! He found himself banging his head against the sides of the fleshy walls surrounding him and twisting his limbs around miserably in the smelly prison. He was so sure that he'd be sent somewhere entertaining for all his hard work, but the old man was just as insufferable as ever! Ryuk had been one of the last Shinigami alive until he wasn't. His memories were a bit hazy when he tried to remember the details, but he could recall his old man telling him to enjoy his reward. Whatever that meant! And what a lousy reward this was. 

From what he could feel, he still had his talons, granted they felt more like soft latex than razors, as did his teeth. But he still had bits and pieces of his former self, something that made him relax a little when being ripped from one way of life and cast into another. It still felt like he'd been De-clawed, though! Even if it was just a little bit! He was squishy! At eight months of drifting in and out of consciousness, he noticed he sprouted featherless wings that instinctively folded over his pasty white front. It was very different for him and made him feel like a plucked chicken. It was worrying because at this point... What was he going to look like when he came out? Ryuk will never be vain but he was only ever used to looking one way all his life. It would feel too weird. 

He often listened to the muffled voices around him speaking in what he could vaguely make out as English. A distinct bark-like laugh often woke him up whenever he napped, and out of irritation he'd kick hard against the soft walls surrounding him out of protest, but that always brought more laughter. His face would always flush each time out of embarrassment. He wished he could bite whoever that was! Never in his entire existence had he felt more pathetic than he did when in the womb. Was this what mortality felt like? What Light-o felt like? This was stirring some confusing emotions from within.

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Somewhere around nine months, the fleshy prison felt tighter than usual. Various fluids Ryuk refused to name out of revulsion just drained around him one day, and he knew what that meant and refused to acknowledge. He was almost afraid to face what was out there in such a vulnerable state, but he knew he wouldn't stay in here much longer. After twelve gut wrenching long hours, he was free and screeched out of pure delight. Everyone else started screaming too, but for a different reason. It was kinda funny! Until it wasn't. He couldn't see nor could he move but boy could he hear. 

"What in Merlin's name is that, Prongs?!" A man shouted. Mortals...  
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After the screaming subsided, the blurry outline of silver and what sounded like an old man materialized out of green fire in the corner of the room and almost immediately plucked him from the cradle they might as well have tossed him in. His parents were conflicted when it came to their new son, or so Ryuk observed, his appearance frightened them. Understandable, he'd never met a human who hadn't been afraid of him beside Misa Amane. But that human was weird and didn't count. There was lots of shouting he couldn't fully understand due to the ringing in his ears that came with the pressure around his head when being pushed out of his new mother. He'd been handed off to her when she had finally calmed down somewhat, convinced by the old man that her child Harry had been cursed somehow. Dumbledore claimed it had to be the work of Death Eaters. Which Ryuk would later find out was a group of magic-wielding, inbred terrorists that slaughtered people and wizards alike in the name of blood purity. Or something like that, he wasn't really paying attention. Not when flashes of light appeared before his eyes from the end of a small stick the old man held. 

So magic was a thing in this universe. Interesting. Though he felt a bit insulted when he found out what curse this old bastard theorized this group could have possibly placed on him. In the Shinigami realm he would have ranked a solid six out of ten in the looks department, thank you very much. To be called ugly and deformed was just insulting! His parents, despite their fear of him at first glance, had eventually warmed up to him. Maybe a month or two after his eyes developed and he could see the life spans above their heads. After four months they could look him in the eyes and smile. Genuinely smile. At him of all things! Imagine that, he almost felt bad they were going to die so soon. Almost. 

He'd never had much of a good parent before, the Shinigami king was more like a grumpy old ruler you'd have to bribe to get a little freedom than anything. But to have two parents who doted on you regardless of how grotesque they found you, well that felt pretty nice he had to admit. He was still never allowed to nurse from his mother, though, not because of his appearance but because his teeth and talons started to sharpen just a few hours after birth. Not that he was complaining. Bottled Formula tasted nasty, worse than apples from the Shinigami realm! And that was saying something! Ryuk made sure to make his resentment towards the powdered substance known by chewing a hole in the bottle by the end of each feeding. Sometimes he'd spit it at his new father and laugh with his mother at the shocked look on the man's face. 

The more his new parents loved and pampered him, the more he began to like them. It was a shame they'd be dying so young, but at least he'd be left with an amusing godfather that could turn into a dog at will! His other uncles could transform into animals too! 

It was still tedious, though. Having to eat, having to pee, having to poop. Sitting in both things until you cried hard enough that one of these humans would come running to change you. To bathe you, to feed you.

He'd been given a pair of special gloves to wear so he wouldn't shred others to bits, and special clothes with holes in the back for his wings to fit through. His wings had begun to sprout feathers a week into this new way of life! Small fluffy gray feathers that shed quite often and left trails around the house. They were nowhere near as impressive as they once were, but hopefully, that would change. Having tiny wings made him feel weak. He still remembers how the doctors back at the hospital tried to remove them an hour after his birth, and how he'd become untouchable every time they tried snipping away at the flesh on his back. It was pretty funny, and he laughed the whole time until his mother got scared enough that she lifted him off the table and told them all that he was fine just the way he was. Damn right he is!

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When he was one year's old, he managed to crawl to a mirror and slouch, taking in his new reflection for the first time in his parent's room. His hair was dark as a raven's wing and stuck straight up, his face the same as he remembered it, pale as was the rest of his body. That part was new. The markings around his lips and eyes weren't as dark as they were before, but as gray as the feathers on his back. His limbs were long, as was his torso. His wings were the size of a large hen's, covered in tiny gray feathers. They flickered behind him, brought on by excitement which unintentionally pops one of the gold buckles from his dark blue jean overalls over his right shoulder. His enlarged pupils watched it brush past his wing and dangle over the light green fabric of his shirt patterned with red apples. He had to be about thirty-six point one inches tall. He grinned as his pupils moved back to his reflection, happy to find his teeth looked about as sharp as they felt under the raking of his long tongue. His teeth and Talons never tore through his flesh or any part of his mouth, but when he touched anyone else... It hurt them. He wondered why that was and debated biting Uncle Worm Tail to figure out if his teeth held the same effect. "Harry, there you are!" Lily called from the door frame, her arms folded beneath her bosom. 

"Apples?" Ryuk whined, twisting rather unnaturally around to crawl towards the beautiful redhead. She just smiled down at him, used to his antics at this point and scooped him up to nuzzled his cheek with her nose, making him flush. Affection was never something he'd been allowed to experience, and Ryuk found that he enjoyed it a lot. Was that what the reward was? Love? Regardless, he would bask in it for as long as he could. "That's right Harry, Apples. But you can only have apple sauce after you eat your peas." Lily Potter chuckled, walking down the corridor at a lax pace with young Harry in one arm while re-buckling the front of his overalls with the flick of her wand. 

Ryuk's pupils filled the whites of his eyes by this point, watching the small the display of magic. Oh yes, this world was definitely interesting and he looked forward to learning as much about it as he could. 

 

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End file.
